Donegal artist: ‘I didn’t want to romanticise dementia, but music still connects us’

A portrait of love, music, and family in the face of dementia. Artist and family carer Mary Toland depicts her husband, Dermot, and his brother, Patsy, playing music togetherplaceholder image
A portrait of love, music, and family in the face of dementia. Artist and family carer Mary Toland depicts her husband, Dermot, and his brother, Patsy, playing music together

Mary Toland, a Gortahork-based artist, has completed a painting of her husband, who has dementia, alongside his brother, depicting how music brings us all together

Gortahork-based artist and dementia advocate Mary Toland has completed a personal painting inspired by her husband, Dermot, in preparation for World Alzheimer’s Month this September. 

Dermot, who is affectionately known as ‘Dermie’ to family and friends, lives with Frontotemporal Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease and is now in long-term care. 

Mary, who cared for Dermot at home until he entered full-time care two and a half years ago, painted him alongside his brother Patsy, both lifelong musicians, playing music together – a bond that has endured through the challenges of dementia. The guitar Dermot holds in the painting is one he made himself, a tribute to his creativity and past as a skilled wood joiner. 

“I didn’t want to romanticise dementia,” says Mary. “It’s an isolating and lonely condition – for the person and the carer. But music still connects us. Although Dermie’s dementia is progressing, he is still the person he always was. He’s engaged and enjoys the music when Patsy visits and plays for him. I really hope this encourages others to reach out to someone they know living with dementia – human connection and support mean everything.” placeholder image
“I didn’t want to romanticise dementia,” says Mary. “It’s an isolating and lonely condition – for the person and the carer. But music still connects us. Although Dermie’s dementia is progressing, he is still the person he always was. He’s engaged and enjoys the music when Patsy visits and plays for him. I really hope this encourages others to reach out to someone they know living with dementia – human connection and support mean everything.” 

Dermot Toland and his wife, Mary, photographed together. Dermot lives with Frontotemporal Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease

Mary worked on the painting for over two years, keeping it a surprise for Patsy, whose visits and music continue to bring joy and comfort to Dermot. The painting honours Patsy’s role as an extraordinary support – not only as a brother, but as someone who brings light and music into Dermot’s world. 

Mary says Patsy and the wider family have been a vital support throughout their journey: “In a way, the painting is not just a tribute to Patsy’s relationship with Dermie but also to all of the family members who support us.” 

Mary is a member of the Dementia Carers Campaign Network, supported by The Alzheimer Society of Ireland, and advocates for dementia carers across Ireland. 

World Alzheimer's Month is an international campaign held every September to raise awareness and challenge the stigma surrounding Alzheimer's disease and other dementias.

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