It’s Good To Talk:  Mental exhaustion - The invisible weight of carrying it all!

Do you wake up after a full night’s sleep and feel truly exhausted and wonder why? You are not alone in feeling like this - more and more people are finding themselves physically rested but mentally drained.

We are living in a world where our minds are “always on”.

Days are often spent worrying, scrolling, reacting, running here and there, planning and navigating through life, in what feels like a never ending mental traffic jam. The phrase “I am exhausted” comes into conversations too often.

When we think or hear of exhaustion we mostly focus on the physical side! We don't talk about or recognise mental exhaustion enough, nor do we fully appreciate the negative impact it can have on the quality of our lives. Mental exhaustion can lead to physical fatigue, which may trigger procrastination, low motivation, a drop in mood, or heightened anxiety.

This, in turn, reinforces the mental exhaustion - creating a vicious cycle that's hard to break. What is mental exhaustion? I often use the analogy, that it is like your brain is running out of battery but you can’t find your charger and you are trying to conserve the remaining  battery because you really need to make a phone call. Sounds confusing and stressful?

Yes it can be and very frustrating too!It is always helpful to go to your GP for any type of exhaustion to rule out the medical issues, however, if that gives a clean bill of health it is then worth shining a light on the mental and emotional side.

The body might be resting but your mind might be running through far too many jobs, problems, worries and the never ending ‘to do’ list. Our stress response gets rewired when we don’t give ourselves permission to be “off!” - making it harder to rest and truly let go of mental clutter.

Saying no to protect your work-life balance is essential 

Many people are not aware of or choose to ignore the signs of mental exhaustion, which are Constant fatigue, even after rest. Brain fog. Forgetfulness. Trouble concentrating. Feeling sluggish, irritable, or snapping at others.

Crying unexpectedly. Feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or disconnected from things you once enjoyed. Numbness. Worry and anxiety that won’t switch off.

Difficulty sleeping. Physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, or digestive issues. These are just some of the signs of mental exhaustion, the list can feel endless. If you think you might be experiencing it, the important question is, “What can you do about it? Firstly, let’s identify what might be contributing to this in your life. 

The phone

We all know that our phones are not always helpful in our lives due to scrolling, exposure to too much of everything, including news, sadness and other people’s emotions.

A less talked about use of phones is Group chats – which are helpful for connection and information but with that, comes many downsides which contribute to mental exhaustion with constant messages and threads pulling your attention away from better things in your life.

The feeling of having to respond or contribute can add pressure and the dynamics of any group whether online or in person can lead to emotional overload. Group chats often don’t respect boundaries in terms of messages coming at all hours, weekend’s  etc, it keeps the feeling of always being ‘on’ going.

If any group chats have a negative impact on your wellbeing then it might be time to think about leaving the group or creating your own boundaries around when you respond, when you read updates and what part you want group chats to play in your life.

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Phones often pull us away from the present moment, whether it’s enjoying special times or simply relaxing.

A message, an alarm, a notification, or a call can instantly shift your focus elsewhere, taking you out of the here and now. Using silent mode, Do Not Disturb, or even turning your phone off for a while can be so helpful.

When was the last time you actually switched off your phone for an extended period? Maybe it’s time to explore that fear of missing out and consider if it’s something worth changing in your life.

Multitasking

I realised recently that multitasking does not make me more efficient, it just overloads my brain which switches rather than multitasks and with each task switch your brain has to refocus.

This is known as the “switching cost”, this actually leads to less efficiency and mental drain. The more we do, the less mental breaks are available and an increased likelihood of feeling overwhelmed.

A better alternative to multitasking is mono-tasking. This approach involves focusing on one task at a time with full attention. It’s more efficient, less stressful, and leads to higher-quality work. It’s worth exploring anything that improves mental drain and change doesn’t have to be all at once - it can be small steady steps, which are often more sustainable long-term. 

Boundaries 

Boundaries are not selfish, they are important in sustaining a healthy balance, avoiding burning out as well as showing yourself that you respect and value your time and worth. We should always take into account the value of our time, the cost for giving it away and how we can take it back.

Pay close attention to any areas in your life where people-pleasing takes over and consider who might be draining your energy because of it.

Be mindful of the control you may be giving others while being aware of the importance of knowing what feels acceptable to you and what does not! Take time to really pinpoint what isn’t working in your relationships or daily interactions, and explore what changes you can make to protect your energy and well-being.

Work

Work should stay in work hours as best it can. Checking emails, working beyond your hours or denying yourself quality breaks will lead to exhaustion and work resentment; so show yourself  love, care and respect by sticking to healthy work boundaries, especially if you work from home. Saying no to protect your work life balance is essential to ensure you, as an employee, are happy and in-turn you will work more effectively and efficiently – win, win!

Rest

Everyone needs to rest and sleep should always be at the top of your priority list. Put in place a healthy sleep routine and stick to it -the body needs it but so does your mind.

Don’t sacrifice your sleep for night time scrolling. If you want to scroll, set an alarm for a time limit. Keep in mind if you are “doing” you are not resting so prioritize who you give your time and energy to you. I cannot emphasise this enough! Your time might seem free however there can be mental health costs which devalue your quality of life so it is key not to overlook them. When mental exhaustion kicks-in I often hear people say, “my brain feels broken” - your brain is not broken, it’s just overused without recovery. Like our body it is a muscle that needs rest so you can get the best out of it!

Reflect and Reassess 

This is a time to reflect on the root cause of your mental exhaustion and see what needs to change. Keeping going or pushing through may lead to burnout, resentment of others and illness.

You have to make yourself a priority in your own life. It can help to prioritize what boosts your energy and most importantly, know what drains your energy. Review how you respond physically and mentally to the challenges in your day-to-day living. Become more self-aware. Look at your life with a new pair of eyes!

When addressing something ask yourself - “does this need my energy or am I giving it away?” This will be especially helpful if you are prone to people pleasing or over-thinking. Applying control to your environment rather than your environment controlling you will be a healthier approach to living a more contented life. Looking at acceptance of what you can control and what is beyond your control may help alleviate some of the unnecessary mental burden 

Support

Always remember to seek support whenever something in life is causing, worry, stress or distress. This support could come from a heartfelt conversation with friends, family, or partners.

You might decide help comes in the form of delegating tasks and getting practical help or simply having someone to provide a listening ear.  Counselling can also be a valuable resource for exploring the root causes of your struggles and working on positive change, especially through approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy.

As mentioned earlier, your GP can guide you towards the right support services once any physical health concerns have been ruled out. Do not go it alone. Mental exhaustion is very real, and you deserve better!

All Good Wishes,

Tracy xx