It’s Good to Talk: The September reset

IT’s Good To Talk: The September reset

There is something about September that feels a little like January’s less demanding and more realistic cousin.January usually arrives with huge expectations.New year, new habits, new body, new routine, new you.

September is different because it tends to creep in through school bags, darker evenings, alarm clocks and the sudden realisation that summer has somehow disappeared.

Back to routine

For many of us, September brings a return to routine. Children are back at school, holidays are over, work settles into a more predictable rhythm and there can be a feeling that it is time to “get organised again.”

Sometimes that feels good after the looseness of summer, routine can be comforting. We know what time we need to get up, where we are supposed to be and what needs to happen next.

There is less wondering and more structure but September can also bring pressure.We look around the house and decide it needs sorted.

We look at ourselves and decide we need to lose weight. We think about finances after the summer holidays.

We sign up for classes, promise ourselves earlier nights, less scrolling, more exercise, healthier food, better parenting and greater productivity. Before we know it, our gentle September reset has turned into a complete life overhaul and that is usually where it starts to fall apart.

Real change rarely happens because we suddenly become a completely different person on a Monday morning. It happens through small, repeated choices. Maybe the most helpful way to approach September is not to ask, “How can I sort my whole life out?” but instead, “What would make my life feel slightly easier at the minute?”

Asking that question tends to give us much more realistic answers.

Maybe it is getting to bed half an hour earlier.Maybe it is putting your phone away while you eat your dinner.

Maybe it is finally making the appointment you have been putting off or going for a short walk after work, not because you are trying to transform your body, but because your head feels better for it!Maybe it is deciding that one evening a week to have nothing planned because a reset does not have to be dramatic to be meaningful.

Small changes matter

In counselling, I often see how easily people dismiss the small things because they do not feel significant enough. We assume change has to be big before it counts and our nervous system notices small changes. It notices when we stop rushing from one thing straight into another.

It notices when we eat before we become ‘hangry’. It notices when we say no to something we genuinely do not have the capacity for.It notices when we get outside, when we have ten quiet minutes before bed instead of filling every available second with noise. These things might not look impressive on paper, but they can change how a day feels.

September can also be a useful time to notice what you do not want to bring into the next season.

We often focus on what we should start doing, but sometimes the more important question is what we could stop.Do you need to stop saying yes automatically? To stop checking work emails late at night?

To stop expecting yourself to keep everybody happy? To stop comparing your home, body, parenting or life to what you see online?And maybe the one I see as really big – to stop treating rest as something you have to earn!

There can be huge relief in realising that a reset is not only about adding more.Sometimes it is about removing something that has been draining you.

Making room for what matters

It is also worth remembering that September can be emotionally difficult for some people.T

he change of season itself can affect mood. The evenings become shorter. The weather changes. Summer plans are finished and Christmas still feels far away.For parents, a child starting school, moving school or heading off to college can bring emotions that catch us by surprise.

We can be delighted for them and still feel sad.

You can feel joy at having the house quieter and still miss them. We can feel relieved to have routine back yet at the same time dread the rushing, homework, lunches and endless driving that comes with it. Two feelings can exist at the same time – one does not cancel the other out!

You do not have to talk yourself out of sadness simply because something is also positive.Another useful September reset is to look honestly at your expectations.

Ask yourself, “What am I expecting from myself at the minute?”

Sometimes when people feel constantly behind, the problem is not that they are doing too little. The real problem is that the list they are measuring themselves against is impossible.

No wonder people feel as though they are failing.You may not need better time management.

You may need a more realistic definition of what is enough. A helpful exercise for September is to choose just three areas. One thing you would like to do more of. One thing you would like to do less of. One thing you would like to protect.

An example of that might look like – more walking, less mindless scrolling, protect Sunday mornings. Those three decisions are far more likely to influence your wellbeing than a complicated list of twenty new habits.

A gentler kind of reset

And if September does not feel like a fresh start for you, that is okay too. Maybe you are exhausted. Maybe life is particularly difficult at the moment. Maybe you are dealing with grief, illness, relationship problems, financial worries or simply a season where getting through the week already requires most of your energy.Your reset might look different.

It might simply be deciding to make things gentler rather than better. To ask for help sooner. To stop pretending you are fine when you are not. To lower the bar for a little while.

There is no rule saying every new season has to be used for self-improvement.

Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is meet ourselves where we actually are.So as September begins, maybe forget the pressure to reinvent yourself. You do not need a new personality, a perfect morning routine or a completely organised life.

You might just need one or two small changes that make your ordinary days feel a little more manageable.

Because the best reset is rarely the one that looks impressive for a week.It is the one you can still live with when October arrives. Remember you matter!

All good wishes,

Tracy xx

Counselling available in person from Serenity House Moville, F93 Y138 or remotely via zoom/telephone 086 3891917 email:[email protected] - Facebook/instagram @tracymckeaguecounselling