It Occurs To Me: He who pays the piper calls the tune

A number of people made the observation in Ardara last weekend that the unavailability of the Nesbitt Arms in the town is now seriously affecting footfall. 

For a town for whom tourism is crucial, this is indeed critical and mirrors the situation in many other towns and villages in Ireland. That being said, one of the lighter moments at the Johnny Doherty Festival was meeting another Peter the Piper, this time from Howth in Dublin. He was a great friend of Barney McKenna of the Dubliners. I say “another” because everybody in Ardara knows the original Peter the Piper is their own Peter Daly. The accompanying photo shows Peter and local singer Matt McNelis pictured in The Corner House. 

Peter Daly and singer Matt McNelis pictured in The Corner House in Ardara

Anyway, Dublin Peter is a superb storyteller, and one of many he shared with me about the legendary Barney concerned the Dubliners getting lost in County Galway, on their way to a gig in Connemara over 50 years ago. Eventually, they came upon a wee farmhouse with the farmer sitting on the wall outside, smoking a pipe. He looked at them with great suspicion when Ronnie Drew asked for directions, and stuck his head in the window, only to see three other beardy bucks, who he recognised from the telly. Says he: “The last time a showband came through these parts, they got a girl in trouble!

“Mary!”, he shouted back towards the house, “bring me out the shotgun!” Barney and co fled!

                                   Hairy moments

Even during the worst of The Troubles, retaining a black sense of humour ensured a measure of sanity for many Derry people. I was in Andy Cole’s famous pub in the Strand Road over thirty years ago (sadly, it no longer exists) and a gang of ould fellas were slagging one another about their hirsute appendages…as to who had hair and who hadn’t, and did certain shampoos help growth etc? One buck wondered whether ‘The Brits’ used ‘Head and Soldiers’ when they went back to barracks, which elicited a great laugh in the bar. One of them was as bald as an egg, so his mates wondered if he used ‘Back of the Head and Shoulders’? Your man took it well and responded that ‘a short back and besides’ did him grand. 

I was reminded of them last week when I passed by ‘Baldies Barbers’ in Castle Street, where I often got the ‘gruaig’ cut over the decades. Many years ago, I was getting it clipped, when the barber remarked that I had a great head of hair, to which a customer nearby responded, “That’d be the Free State spuds…it wasn’t Derry baps that big h..r was reared on.” I instantly forgave him, as I think he was ‘half-cut’ himself.

                        To see ourselves as others see us

As I write, yet another OPW scandal erupts, sure to inflame more anger among the thoroughly p….ed off Irish populace. As Senan Molony reports in The Indo, “Modular homes paid for by the State to house Ukrainian refugees are now expected to cost €442,000 each, more than double the original slated cost of €200,000, a Comptroller & Auditor General (C & AG) report has found. The new report has damned the OPW, responsible for the project, over spiralling costs.” 

This after the scandals of other OPW-led projects, which is already in the ‘các’ over the €336,000 Leinster House bike shed and a €1.4m security hut at the Department of Finance. Did I hear a Minister say… “Lessons will be learned”. What an absolute joke! But hey…there is precedence. Back in the mid 1980’s, the offices of the Department of Public Prosecutions was located in St. Stephen’s Green, and because of ‘The Trouble’s and increased criminality in Dublin, there was a fear that the DPP might be targeted. Fair enough!

It was decided to set up a wee lobby with a two-way mirror for security reasons. Fair enough again. The plan was that any visitors would get the lift up to the lobby and the officials could see if they might be of the unsavoury variety, and if they were dodgy, the door into the office would be bolted shut, and the Guards could be summoned. Fair enough once more.

The problem was that when the geniuses installed the mirror , they put it in the wrong way around! I kid you not. So now, anybody who got as far as the lobby could see right into the lobby and the officials inside could only see their own reflection. Did I say geniuses? In 1987, Dublin criminal Martin Cahill stole 145 files from the said DPP's office and one really interested him…the mysterious death and cover up of the death of Father Niall Molloy.  The State begged him to return the file, which he did… but not before he had made 20 copies. Ah sure, maybe some minister all those years ago reassured us that “Lessons will be learned!”. That’ll do rightly. As my late father was wont to say sarcastically… “The country’s in good hands!”                            

                              No milking in Bundesliga

Uli Hoeness, Former Bayern Munich president and legendary German footballer, said: "We could charge more than €120 per season ticket. If we charge €350 per season ticket we would get €2m extra, but what does that mean for us? The difference for a fan between €120 and €350 is enormous and we do not believe that fans are like cows, which are milked. Football has to be for everyone. That is the biggest difference between us and England."

                            Remembering Kris Kristofferson

When the late great Kris Kristofferson wrote The Pilgrim back in 1971, as a homage to the many artists who had inspired him, it included these lyrics:

“He's a poet and he's a picker, he's a prophet and he's a pusher

He's a pilgrim and a preacher and a problem when he's stoned

He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction

Takin' every wrong direction on his lonely way back home.”

Much of those descriptions could have referred to Kris himself, whose death for my generation robs us of a truly wonderful singer-songwriter. I I’ll never forget the thrill of first hearing his debut album back in the Summer of 1970, simply called Kristofferson, and including iconic hits such Me and Bobby McGee, Help Me Make It Through The Night, For The Good Times, and Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down.

Incredibly, although most critics gave Kristofferson positive reviews, the album's original release was a commercial failure. In 1971, following the success of Janis Joplin's recording of Me and Bobby McGee, the album was reissued as Me and Bobby McGee; it peaked at number 10 on Billboard's Top Country Albums chart and achieved certified gold. Apropos of what is currently happening in the Middle East, Kris once observed: “I found a considerable lack of work after doing concerts for Palestinian children.. if that's the way it has to be, that's the way it has to be. If you support human rights, you gotta support them everywhere.”

With Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings and Kris dead, Willie Nelson is the only surviving members of the supergroup, The Highwaymen. Willie’s son, Lukas Nelson, a great artist in his own right, and who toured Ireland in 2023, said:

“Kris helped me to believe in myself as a songwriter when I was a boy. 

Other than my father, he was my greatest inspiration. 

He embodied humility and kindness, and carried his grace into his words and music with unique eloquence. 

He was a great among greats. One of the coolest men in music. 

Strong and fierce, with a gentleman’s soul. 

A Rhodes scholar who left the Oxford life to be a seeker..

He was an aviator, and an inventor of phrases. 

Kris could land anywhere, and did. 

I grew up with him and his family. 

I love them, I love him, and I always will.”